This is really just a venting post about my emotions and I don't mean to offend anyone, but this is just how I feel right now. This will be transferred to StillWonders.info or deleted, but yeah. I just need to get my emotions out. By the way, tl; dr.

_____

So as I've gotten a bit older and met a number of people, I've noticed something. I do not have anything very worthwhile to call my own. Granted, I do have a Nintendo DS Lite, but that's beside the point. All of my friends have really nice things: Wiis, laptops and desktops, PS3s, Xbox 360s, and a number of nice things. What do I have to call my own? Nothing really. This is a bit shallow, but it still quite saddens me that I've been working extremely hard these past few years and have done so much to not benefit just myself, but to help out my parents, my older siblings, and just a number of people. For example, I've been busting my butt off to earn excellent grades, a number of awards, doing a number of chores, and a bunch of other stuff I don't even know. Another thing that kind of saddens me is that being the youngest child in my family of four children, my wants always get pushed to the bottom because of numerous things, despite the fact that my family has a quite cushy salary, the most prevalent of these things lately being college tuition, college loans, dance team payments, and car and house payments which take up more than half of my parents' salary.

I do realize that a lot of these things have more priority than my wants, but it just hurts a little bit every time that what I want always gets pushed aside in favor of something else, and these bunch of little things have piled up over the years. I also know that I should not be doing this just because I want something. I should be doing it to help out my family. And after seeing all of my friends and a bunch of other people (not meaning to point out anyone here) who have a bunch of nice things. And when I go to their houses, I often think, "Why can't I have anything like this?" but I usually just bottle it up as the day goes on. I have realized as I've gotten a bit older is that I need to work a lot in order to get things that I deserve. Like that Coldplay song, "Lost!" goes, "Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve, no better and no worse." Which is how I feel right now.

_____

Content Management Powered by CuteNews